What's in Your Stocking?
There
were certain things I knew would be in my stocking every Christmas. So much so
that I looked forward to them.
I
always knew there would be a Life Savers (Polos to my U.K. friends) Storybook.
These aren’t books, but instead, a box of Life Savers that fold out like a
book. Both sides of the book have a variety of flavored Life Savers. The famous
five flavors would always be the first to go. The second would be the tropical
fruit. Finally, the butter rum (butter scotch) would be devoured. There was
also the Wint-o-Green, which, according to popular myth sparks when you bite it
in the dark. I tried this once, and discovered that it actually does work! But
you have to bite into a piece before the gets too dissolved in your mouth. I’m
not sure how it works. Maybe some sort of static discharge of the ionization of
mint polyhedron covalent bonds…or something. Chemistry was never my strong
suit.
There
was always lip balm of some sort. It’d either have some Christmas theme to it;
such as a snowman, Santa, or an elf printed on the tube. I never used one up
entire. In fact, it wasn’t until I started using lip balm all year round that I
discovered that feeling of using up an entire tube. It’s a sad day when you’re
down to your last cherry-flavored smack of the lips. These days, it’s either
Blistex, or mint. Though, I keep a tube of cherry, which I associate with the
holidays. That’s what I’ve been using lately.
There
would also be an issue of Mad Magazine. Sadly, I don’t have any of my old
issues of Mad, but I do have some modern ones. Usually, this would be holiday
themed as well. Alfred E. Neumann dressed as the Easter bunny, as he tries to
insert himself into a chimney comes to mind.
Truth be told, the
more “mature” I get, the more I realize that Mad may have been right about the
holidays. The jumble, the confusion, and the roller derby-like scramble to get
a head start on Black Friday. That’s another subject entirely, one that pains
me to no end. Black Friday is itself a needless shopping “holiday;” one in
which the best deals are not found. It’s also become an excuse to cut short the
Thanksgiving holiday of retail workers. I digress, but it’s a useful
digression. Yes, Mad was right. We get the holiday blahs for a variety of
reasons. If you work, or have worked in retail you’ll know what I mean.
My final Black
Friday in retail was a bit of a damp squib. Still, that didn’t prevent me from
posting Kenneth Branagh as Henry V, delivering the St. Crispin’s Day speech.
Yes, these are the wounds I received on Black Friday. Those who fought with
me…aren’t exactly my brothers. In mean, in retail it’s every many for himself.
Sad, and yet true. I’m thankful I won’t go through that again.
The final item
that would be in my stocking was Lego. This would either be a small Lego kit
with either a medieval, or sci-fi theme. Combine the two, and you get space
dragons from Antares! These are the popular packs that contain a figure or two,
and a vehicle. I think the coolest one I ever received featured knight with a
plumed helmet on horseback. He had a squire that traveled with him, and
assisted in the rescuing of maidens, slaying of dragons, and pillaging of
villages. They spent their weekends at the Castle Anthrax, with wicked Zoot!
The very Arthurian King's Oarsmen.
This was in my stocking one year.
Which reminds me
of the awesome Sherwood Forest Lego set I once received for Christmas. Robin
Hood, and Arthurian legends to be just a few of the many tales of that time
(both real, and imagined) that have always captivated me. I’ve always been a
medieval, and Renaissance Tudor buff as well. Nowadays, I find myself visiting
actual castles, abbeys, and cathedrals. Little did I know then that I’d trace
the steps of pilgrims and nobles. I imagined such things as a child, but never
dreamed I’d see them in real life. I guess some dreams do come true.
Another thing I
always got, though given the night before, was pajamas. These usually had some
pop culture theme to them. Whatever I was into at the time as a child; G.I.
Joe, Captain Power, Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Nintendo. They were
presented the night before, as last year’s pajamas were a bit ratty by
December. These were made of polyester and cotton, and pilled like a druggist
in Beverly Hills. But, they were well-loved, and well-worn. The Captain Power
pajamas came with red trousers, that hung loose, and reminded me of the
parachute pants worn by M.C. Hammer. Though, I imagined I was the titular
fire-breathing Russian Karnov, of the classic (and bizarre) video game.
This Christmas, I
searched for something more mature, and found it. Classic, light blue pajamas
for men. I miss that my mother would still buy me novelty pajama pants, even
after I’d long crossed the threshold. Charlie Brown and Snoopy, Cookie Monster,
and the TMNT made revisits to my wardrobe around that time.
This Christmas will
be the second one without my mother. It means no stocking will be filled, but I
think that was inevitable. I never believed in Santa, and always knew it was my
parents behind it all. Still, the idea that at some point your parents won’t be
there to give a Christmas gift does weigh on one. It adds a veneer of coldness
to a holiday that can be both joyous, and sad. Joyous to children, and sad for
adults. The sadness comes partly from nostalgia of all the things I once had,
and no longer do. Another part wishes I could go back to some Christmases, but
another part of me feels it’s be best if I don’t. Given how chaotic things were
in my childhood, it’s probably best not to go back. One can only live in the
present as time moves forward.
Childhood is
fleeting. That’s something that doesn’t register with you as a child. You
discover it when you reach the age of twelve. That’s when you stop getting
toys, and start getting books, CDs, and boring old clothes. You might still get
an issue of Mad in your stocking, but gone are the elf-shaped lip balms. For
that matter, so are the red Santa lollipops, with the white icing on them.
Where did those go? Another holiday tradition down the tubes!
I don’t want to be
a child again. In fact, I feel a little bit sad for the people who never grow
up. I feel like they’re the ones who are missing out on the world. But at the
same time, there’s a part of me that stays young at heart. That part inspired
me to put up the Christmas tree this year. It was a new tree that my mother and
I bought off season last year. She never got to see it decorated, as she died
in July of 2016. I see it now, and it’s not such a bad tree. All it needed, in
the words of Linus, “Was a little love.”
When unboxing the
ornaments, I cried a little. Some of them date back to when I was a child; like
the little train with the year 1980 etched on the side. Or, the wooden “grandma
and grandpa” ornaments, which you see below. But, what also got me was seeing
ornaments that my mother felt partial to, such as the nutcracker (stop
tittering at the back!) I saw the ones with cats, and felt a sense of loss
there as well. I lost so much last year, that I wasn’t even sure I’d put the
tree up. Instead, I put it up anyway, and am glad I did so. It adds a lot of
cheer to a gloomy season, and place. My flat isn’t the worst building I’ve
lived in, but it has its problems. Still, I’m in a better way than I was last
Christmas.
What’s in your
stocking this Christmas? Are there certain things you always expect?
Copyright Riley
Joyce 2017
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