What's in Your Stocking?


What’s in Your Stocking?



            There were certain things I knew would be in my stocking every Christmas. So much so that I looked forward to them.

            I always knew there would be a Life Savers (Polos to my U.K. friends) Storybook. These aren’t books, but instead, a box of Life Savers that fold out like a book. Both sides of the book have a variety of flavored Life Savers. The famous five flavors would always be the first to go. The second would be the tropical fruit. Finally, the butter rum (butter scotch) would be devoured. There was also the Wint-o-Green, which, according to popular myth sparks when you bite it in the dark. I tried this once, and discovered that it actually does work! But you have to bite into a piece before the gets too dissolved in your mouth. I’m not sure how it works. Maybe some sort of static discharge of the ionization of mint polyhedron covalent bonds…or something. Chemistry was never my strong suit.

            There was always lip balm of some sort. It’d either have some Christmas theme to it; such as a snowman, Santa, or an elf printed on the tube. I never used one up entire. In fact, it wasn’t until I started using lip balm all year round that I discovered that feeling of using up an entire tube. It’s a sad day when you’re down to your last cherry-flavored smack of the lips. These days, it’s either Blistex, or mint. Though, I keep a tube of cherry, which I associate with the holidays. That’s what I’ve been using lately.


            There would also be an issue of Mad Magazine. Sadly, I don’t have any of my old issues of Mad, but I do have some modern ones. Usually, this would be holiday themed as well. Alfred E. Neumann dressed as the Easter bunny, as he tries to insert himself into a chimney comes to mind.



Truth be told, the more “mature” I get, the more I realize that Mad may have been right about the holidays. The jumble, the confusion, and the roller derby-like scramble to get a head start on Black Friday. That’s another subject entirely, one that pains me to no end. Black Friday is itself a needless shopping “holiday;” one in which the best deals are not found. It’s also become an excuse to cut short the Thanksgiving holiday of retail workers. I digress, but it’s a useful digression. Yes, Mad was right. We get the holiday blahs for a variety of reasons. If you work, or have worked in retail you’ll know what I mean.

My final Black Friday in retail was a bit of a damp squib. Still, that didn’t prevent me from posting Kenneth Branagh as Henry V, delivering the St. Crispin’s Day speech. Yes, these are the wounds I received on Black Friday. Those who fought with me…aren’t exactly my brothers. In mean, in retail it’s every many for himself. Sad, and yet true. I’m thankful I won’t go through that again.

The final item that would be in my stocking was Lego. This would either be a small Lego kit with either a medieval, or sci-fi theme. Combine the two, and you get space dragons from Antares! These are the popular packs that contain a figure or two, and a vehicle. I think the coolest one I ever received featured knight with a plumed helmet on horseback. He had a squire that traveled with him, and assisted in the rescuing of maidens, slaying of dragons, and pillaging of villages. They spent their weekends at the Castle Anthrax, with wicked Zoot!

The very Arthurian King's Oarsmen.
This was in my stocking one year. 



Which reminds me of the awesome Sherwood Forest Lego set I once received for Christmas. Robin Hood, and Arthurian legends to be just a few of the many tales of that time (both real, and imagined) that have always captivated me. I’ve always been a medieval, and Renaissance Tudor buff as well. Nowadays, I find myself visiting actual castles, abbeys, and cathedrals. Little did I know then that I’d trace the steps of pilgrims and nobles. I imagined such things as a child, but never dreamed I’d see them in real life. I guess some dreams do come true.



Another thing I always got, though given the night before, was pajamas. These usually had some pop culture theme to them. Whatever I was into at the time as a child; G.I. Joe, Captain Power, Batman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Nintendo. They were presented the night before, as last year’s pajamas were a bit ratty by December. These were made of polyester and cotton, and pilled like a druggist in Beverly Hills. But, they were well-loved, and well-worn. The Captain Power pajamas came with red trousers, that hung loose, and reminded me of the parachute pants worn by M.C. Hammer. Though, I imagined I was the titular fire-breathing Russian Karnov, of the classic (and bizarre) video game.

This Christmas, I searched for something more mature, and found it. Classic, light blue pajamas for men. I miss that my mother would still buy me novelty pajama pants, even after I’d long crossed the threshold. Charlie Brown and Snoopy, Cookie Monster, and the TMNT made revisits to my wardrobe around that time.  

This Christmas will be the second one without my mother. It means no stocking will be filled, but I think that was inevitable. I never believed in Santa, and always knew it was my parents behind it all. Still, the idea that at some point your parents won’t be there to give a Christmas gift does weigh on one. It adds a veneer of coldness to a holiday that can be both joyous, and sad. Joyous to children, and sad for adults. The sadness comes partly from nostalgia of all the things I once had, and no longer do. Another part wishes I could go back to some Christmases, but another part of me feels it’s be best if I don’t. Given how chaotic things were in my childhood, it’s probably best not to go back. One can only live in the present as time moves forward.  

Childhood is fleeting. That’s something that doesn’t register with you as a child. You discover it when you reach the age of twelve. That’s when you stop getting toys, and start getting books, CDs, and boring old clothes. You might still get an issue of Mad in your stocking, but gone are the elf-shaped lip balms. For that matter, so are the red Santa lollipops, with the white icing on them. Where did those go? Another holiday tradition down the tubes!  

I don’t want to be a child again. In fact, I feel a little bit sad for the people who never grow up. I feel like they’re the ones who are missing out on the world. But at the same time, there’s a part of me that stays young at heart. That part inspired me to put up the Christmas tree this year. It was a new tree that my mother and I bought off season last year. She never got to see it decorated, as she died in July of 2016. I see it now, and it’s not such a bad tree. All it needed, in the words of Linus, “Was a little love.”

When unboxing the ornaments, I cried a little. Some of them date back to when I was a child; like the little train with the year 1980 etched on the side. Or, the wooden “grandma and grandpa” ornaments, which you see below. But, what also got me was seeing ornaments that my mother felt partial to, such as the nutcracker (stop tittering at the back!) I saw the ones with cats, and felt a sense of loss there as well. I lost so much last year, that I wasn’t even sure I’d put the tree up. Instead, I put it up anyway, and am glad I did so. It adds a lot of cheer to a gloomy season, and place. My flat isn’t the worst building I’ve lived in, but it has its problems. Still, I’m in a better way than I was last Christmas.



What’s in your stocking this Christmas? Are there certain things you always expect? 


Copyright Riley Joyce 2017

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