Friday, August 19, 2016

10 Things to Do in Britain

I'm taking a long-awaiting trip to the U.K. this week. In preparation I compiled a list of things to do while I'm there. 

10. Get Daisy Ridley's number, er, autograph! Ask to meet Rey's parents. 

9. Find out if Emilia Clarke really does have pet dragons. 

8. Have Wicker Man style shindig at Stonehenge. A BYOS party: Bring Your Own Sacrifice.

7. Find the best brownies in Glastonbury; both the confection, and the fey folk. 

6. See if Chris Hitchin's liver was preserved after death. 

5. Create a black hole with Stephen Hawking, using household items. 

4. See if Platform 9-and-three-quarters leads to an enchanted disco bar, as well as Hogwarts Express. 

3. Rent the Tower of London for recreational purposes. Ravens included! 

2. Ask Kate Winslet about the end of Titanic. Leo could have totally fit on that door! 

1. Find excalibur. Extract from watery tart in a lake. Become king. Smite my enemies. 

Bonus goals: Find castle Anthrax, and keep Lancelot away! Find out if Hawk Lager is real. Have a pint at the Winchester, and wait for this whole thing to blow over. 

How's that for a slice of fried gold? 

Text copyright Riley Joyce 2016

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